Wind Beneath My Weight

I have gained more than 50 pounds after college. In the ensuing three decades, I have lost more than 50 pounds. Mysteriously, despite the ups and downs on the scale, my weight resolutely stayed in the neighborhood of 170 pounds.

The last time I had a waist was three decades ago. It was last spotted sometime in the early 90s and had been missing in action ever since. Recently, I had a dress made to attend a friend’s wedding. The young designer explained that the dress would look good if I tucked in the blouse in the ball skirt. I balked at his suggestion. I explained to him that my waist and I have been estranged for years. Unperturbed, he assured me that the dress design can still work. He said there is such a thing called the second waist, which is located between the ribs and the belly button. He would use that as a reference. Good thing, because my original waist was still at large up to now.

Like most people, I would really love to be thin. Unfortunately, it was not to be, and it was not for lack of trying. Over the years, although desultory, I have tried a ton of weight loss fads - keto, low-carb, juice cleanse, calorie restriction, meal-portioning, 10,000 steps, etc. I lost a few pounds here and there and then when I was not looking, the weight simply crept back. When that happened, I embarked on a new weight-loss campaign and after a while, I was again reunited with the weight I lost. This seesaw kind of progress did not really bother me so much. I have learned to live with my added weight and have learned to love my extra rolls.

Since I was always busy with life, weight loss remained a moving target; a distant goal; like writing a bestselling novel; or humanity’s quest for utopia. For the most part, I learned to be at peace with my added pounds. As long as I was healthy - sugar, cholesterol, and blood pressure stats steady - I was as Zen as could be being overweight.

Except at times when the world did its utmost best to remind me that I was fat.

It was 2019, and my 49th birthday was coming up. I wanted to celebrate it by doing something I have not done before. I decided to go paragliding.

My husband and I arrived before 7 am at the location. There were five other would-be paragliders. A rickety pick-up truck arrived and brought us up a hill. Apparently, to paraglide, one had to jump from a hill. Good thing that this fun fact did not show up in my research. When we reached the top of the hill, the two organizers and three assistants, all of them young men in their late 20s, asked us to stay in a makeshift hut. Off they went on the edge of the hill waving their arms up and down. I asked them what they were doing, they said they were checking the wind.

They asked us to stand up and form a line. Then they rearranged us. My husband was in front of the line and I was the last. They must have seen the puzzled look on my face. To explain the reason behind the line up, one of them blurted, very matter-of-fact, “Ma’am mataba ka kasi, kailangan natin ng mas malakas na hangin para makapag-paraglide ka.” Boom! Because of my weight, they needed strong winds, not regular winds, for me to paraglide. I wanted to feel bad but there was no time, my husband was being suited up right after they said that. Before long, he was swept up screaming, “Woo-hoo!”

One after the other, people were suited up and sent up into the air. After an hour or two, the two organizers excitedly shouted, “Ma’am, ikaw na! Kaya na to! Malakas na ang hangin!” Again, before I could bristle at the public affirmation of my overweight status, I was being suited up with one of them for the tandem paraglide and given last-minute instructions. We perched near the edge of the hill and waited for the next wave of wind. On the signal of the instructor behind me, we ran and jumped off the hill. We descended for a while which was terrifying but in a second or two, a strong wind buoyed us up.

Up in the air, it was awesome. Looking up, I saw the colorful chute fluttering in the wind. I spotted the hill from where we jumped off. I caught a glimpse of my husband waving at us. We went up and up until I felt we were close to the clouds. At first, the instructor acted like a tourist guide pointing to various things and locations. After a while, he needed to stop because talking with the wind blowing in our faces dried up his throat and we did not have water with us.

In silence, with just the rustling wind for score, I soaked up everything. I gazed down at trees that looked like green dots, grazing cows that looked like tiny blotches, people the size of pebbles, and cars inching forward like colored ants. Despite the tandem instructor behind me, I felt weightless. I was thinking maybe this was how butterflies felt when they were drifting or birds when they were gliding. The sun high above, the land stretching limitless below - it was like being on God Mode in a computer game. I was both highly terrified and deeply in awe.

My philosophical musings were interrupted by my instructor. He had been trying to maneuver us back to the starting point but the strong winds were carrying us away. He remarked, “Buti na lang talaga ma’am mabigat ka, kaya di tayo nalalayo.” I was on a high and the last thing I needed was a reminder that I was a blimp. I wanted to poke him with the selfie stick he was carrying to record the whole event but stopped because I could not land without his help. I shrugged and like him, looked at the bright side, rejoicing at my heaviness for saving the day.

We circled the hill a lot of times, waiting for the opportune downwind. Suddenly we dropped and he shouted landing instructions. I held my breath as we approached the tree tops, pulled my feet up parallel to the ground, waited until we almost touched the ground, and ran in tandem with my instructor.

Flushed with excitement of having nailed a difficult landing, my instructor turned to me exclaiming, “Happy birthday, ma’am! Grabe! Ikaw na! Ang cool na cool ni ma’am!

As for me, I had the perfect gift for myself that year. I had an awesome, never-done-before adventure where for a magical hour or so I drifted, glided, floated, and marveled at everything, forgetting the weight of the world, including my own. And came out, not an ounce lighter but nevertheless, awed to my soul and crowned cool na cool!